Dave Grohl. Josh Homme. John. Paul. Jones.

Allow me to spew mindless superlatives like a hyperactive little kid, but Them Crooked Vultures is probably going to be the most mind-bending, capillary-rupturing tsunami of awesomeness to pound the shores of the modern rock scene this decade. Wait, does that sound over the top? Good.

For those of you who hate living in sunlight, Dave Grohl is the accomplished (and slightly self-inflated, from what I hear) ex-drummer of Nirvana and current Foo Fighters champion, Homme is chief asskicker of Queens of the Stone Age and an all-around brilliant songwriter, and John Paul Jones is John Paul Jones. From Led Zeppelin. (Twitch, twitch. Puke.) Them Crooked Vultures is the supergroup they formed in 2005 (joined by live rhythm guitarist Alain Johannes of QOTSA). Their debut album is due out November 16 in the UK, and November 17 in the US, which probably means there are already pirated versions flying around hither and thither.

This is still OK, though, because the entire album is available right now through the band’s YouTube channel. Of course it’s sweet, from the killer drum opening and chomping guitar riff of “New Fang” to the simple jaw-busting power of “No One Loves Me & Neither Do I.” I suggest you void your bowels to make room for the sheer rock infusion that will ensue, grab the first copy you can get your hands on, and devour that ambrosia like it’s green beer on Saint Patty’s Day.

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People can say some pretty stupid things online. Maybe it’s the anonymity, maybe it’s just a spur-of-the-moment thought immortalized forever on a message board. Some of them are understandable, given circumstances. OK, your brain farted and spat out that retarded statement, and now you’re feeling better. Alright.

But sometimes, the things people say can cause great need for release of frustration. Some of them can make you want to steal a car and ram it into a shopping mall, or grab the next person to walk past you and shove his face into a tree trunk. For example, I’ve heard, more than once, someone who is supposedly into rock music say they hate Nirvana, and that Nirvana sucks. This is utterly berserk. Listen up, pinhead.

First of all, the words “hate” and “sucks” are oversimplified ways to express discontent with something. People use them when they don’t know how else to identify or explain what they don’t like about something. And don’t get me wrong, there is much not to like about Nirvana. (Big hint: It’s designed that way.) But to say Nirvana “sucks” and that you “hate” them is entirely missing the point, like saying “man, Casablanca is so damn sappy,” or “why does Van Gogh paint so many sunflowers?” Let me explain.
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